She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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