ugly people sure do ruin things
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
