You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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