At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
its liver damage thursday
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize