I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
