We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
