Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dignity is for republicans.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
