yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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