I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
