you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
