I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
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Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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