Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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