I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
