Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
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Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
how does that bad decision feel?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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