I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
