dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
