nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
