Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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