I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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