At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
