Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
