This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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