babies were throwing up all over the place
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
