I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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