So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
