I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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