I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
