I wish I could teleport
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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