when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize