I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
