I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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