I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
