My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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