I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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