She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
