I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize