You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
