i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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