I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
