i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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