New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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