So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
