Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
