I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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