You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
