he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
