WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
