the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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