tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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