he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You need Xanax blowdarts
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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