omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
