U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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