Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
home. puking in laundry basket.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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