Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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