so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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