Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
