Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
