Sry I called you an 8
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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