I've blown a few things in my day
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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