we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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