hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
