It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
